In RCB and Positive Discipline, we discuss the idea that the challenges we have with our kids (while at times quite frustrating), actually provide us with a valuable opportunity to foster important life skills, such as kindness, confidence, respect, responsibility, decision-making, problem-solving etc.
The first step is learning to see these challenging behaviors as a communication of unmet needs and big emotions, rather than merely an act of defiance. Our kids are not out to get us – they have “off” days, just as adults do and learn best from our gentle guidance, understanding and acceptance. It’s not about letting our kids “get away with” negative behaviors; limits need to be established. Rather, it’s about understanding the way in which the brain works.
The brain is open and receptive to learning when it is not in defense mode (i.e. defending against possible punishment). So, if you want your lessons to be well-received, CONNECT with your child before you correct your child!