If you’re here, chances are something in your family just isn’t feeling the way you want it to. 
Maybe you’re caught in the same power struggles over and over again. Your child’s big emotions feel like a lot to handle. Or you’re finding yourself yelling, nagging or reacting in ways that don’t feel good.
You may have already read the books, listened to the podcasts and tried all kinds of strategies. And somehow, you keep ending up in the same place.
I get how frustrating and exhausting that can be.
Parent coaching gives us a chance to slow things down and really look at what’s happening in your family. Not just How do I get my child to stop doing this? but What’s going on here? Why does this keep happening? And what might help?
It Starts With Understanding Your Child
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting because kids aren’t one-size-fits-all.
I want to understand your child…their temperament, strengths, challenges, developing brain and what might be happening underneath the behavior you’re seeing.
Maybe your child knows the rule but has a much harder time following it when they’re upset. Maybe an expectation needs adjusting. Anxiety, ADHD, temperament or an overwhelmed nervous system may be making something much harder than it looks from the outside.
And yes, sometimes we’ll talk about you too. 😉
Our kids can push buttons we didn’t even know we had. The way we were parented, what we believe our kids “should” be doing and our own fears can all show up in the way we respond.
There’s no blame in any of this. We’re just trying to understand the whole picture.
Because once we do, we have a much better chance of changing what happens next.
And Then…What Do We Actually Do?
Understanding your child is incredibly helpful. But you also need to know what to do when they’re refusing to get dressed and you needed to leave the house ten minutes ago.
That’s where we make it practical.
We might work on how you’re setting boundaries, what happens during a meltdown, ways to reduce power struggles or how to help your child build a skill they’re struggling with. We may look at what’s in your control and what isn’t, what your child needs from you and where you can step back.
I’m not going to hand you a script and pretend it will work with every child. What works beautifully with one child can completely backfire with another.
We’ll figure out what makes sense for your child and your family.
What Can We Work On?
I work with parents of toddlers through teens, so what brings families to me can look very different depending on the age and stage.
Power struggles • “Not listening” • Big emotions & meltdowns
Strong-willed kids • Boundaries • Sibling conflict
ADHD & executive functioning • Anxiety • School struggles
Tween & teen challenges • Communication & connection
And sometimes it isn’t one particular thing.
You may just know that parenting has gotten harder than you want it to be and you’re tired of second-guessing yourself.
We can start there too.
What Does a Session Look Like?
Our first session is 90 minutes so we have plenty of time to talk about what’s been going on and what you’d most like help with.
I work with parents virtually via Zoom, so we can connect from wherever you are.
I’ll want to get to know your child and your family a bit…what your child is like, their strengths, what’s challenging right now, what you’ve already tried and anything else that feels important.
I’ll ask lots of questions. I’ll share what I’m noticing. We may talk about brain development or what might be driving a particular behavior. And together, we’ll start figuring out what could help.
You won’t leave with fifteen new things you’re supposed to remember to do. That’s overwhelming and not particularly helpful.
My hope is that you leave feeling like things make a little more sense, with a few realistic things to try and a clearer idea of where to go from here.
Some parents work with me for a few sessions around a particular issue. Others come back as new challenges pop up. We figure that out as we go.
“Working with Debbie has been so much more helpful than reading books or listening to podcasts about parenting. She has wonderful ideas for specific situations that come up in our family. She helps us create tools that will work for us and our strong-willed kiddos! All this, with empathy, kindness and patience.”
— Parissa & Kevin, La Jolla, CA
A Little About How I Work
My approach draws from more than 20 years as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Parent Coach, along with Positive Discipline, child development and brain science.
I believe deeply in connection AND boundaries. We can care about how our kids feel without changing a limit because they’re unhappy about it. We can be kind and firm at the same time.
Rather than focusing only on stopping a behavior in the moment, we’ll also think about what your child needs to learn for the long haul…things like managing big feelings, handling disappointment, solving problems, taking responsibility and communicating respectfully.
None of this requires you to be endlessly calm or get it right all the time.
Thank goodness. 😉
It’s about understanding your child better, becoming more aware of the patterns you can get stuck in and feeling more confident about what to do when the hard moments come.
If that sounds like the kind of support you’ve been looking for, I’d love to hear from you.
Let’s connect