What To Do With All That “Self-Talk”…

Did you know that so much of our behavior, including how we react to others (i.e. our kids, spouse/partner), is directed not only by our emotions, but by what we are telling ourselves in those moments?
In my work with parents, I often ask if they’re aware of what they may be telling themselves during stressful interactions with their kids. After some thought, they often tell me that their “self-talk,” as we call it, typically sounds something like, “I can’t believe this is happening AGAIN!” “Why can’t h/she just LISTEN already?” “I can’t take this anymore!” “Seriously?!?” “What’s WRONG with you?”

Sound familiar?

Portrait of beautiful red hair girl drinking coffee on winter background. Blank cloud balloon with her thoughts flying around her

What if I told you that changing your thoughts could change your behavior and your reactions? I invite you to try it.

Next time you are faced with a stressful or heated interaction with your kids, PAUSE. Check in with what you may be telling yourself in that moment. Challenge and/or replace the thought(s).

Some examples:
“It seems my child hasn’t learned how to ____ YET.”
“I can handle this.”
“This isn’t an emergency.”
“Focus on connecting instead of correcting.”
“Calm begets calm.”
“This too shall pass.”

Wishing you a day filled with more calm and less chaos.
-Debbie

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