April 2018 archive

Words all Parents Need to Hear…

As parents doing one of the hardest jobs on the planet, sometimes we just need to feel (and hear) that we’re not alone. For example, maybe you…

-lost your temper and/or yelled at your child
-let your child spend way more time on an electronic device than you planned
-haven’t showered today
-locked yourself in the bathroom for what you hoped would be 1 minute of peace (and screamed, cried or threw a fit)
-cut your child’s sandwich in rectangles instead of triangles (and suffered the consequences)
-endured the full.blown.meltdown in a store (maybe even on several occasions)
-turned your back for one second and an accident happened
-heard “I hate you” from your child
-feel fear, anger, worry, shame, guilt, doubt, insecurity…

The truth is, we’ve ALL been there! We’ve all felt and feel these feelings – more often than we let on. If only we could give ourselves a BREAK. If only we could show ourselves the same kindness, compassion and support we give to so many others. If only we could stop being so hard on ourselves and *let go* of trying to be the “perfect” parent, spouse/partner, friend, daughter/son, co-worker, volunteer, PTA president – because the thing is, it doesn’t exist.

 

Our children (and others in our lives) don’t need us to be perfect. They need us to be as fully present, engaged and attuned as we can. They need to feel that we are doing our best to understand them and what they are experiencing without judgment and with a sense of openness. They need to know we are capable of caring for ourselves.
Imagine how much more relaxed, patient and peaceful we could be if we took all of this pressure off ourselves to always get it right or have it all together or do it all or make everyone happy all of the time. It’s exhausting!

If you are feeling isolated, I hope that you will reach out in whatever way feels comfortable for you. Asking for help and support is not a sign of weakness, in fact, it’s just the opposite. It takes great courage and strength to acknowledge (and ask for) what you need (and deserve!).

Sweet parents, you are not alone. We are all on this crazy journey called parenthood together, doing the very best we can with what we have. Let’s do all that we can to really notice and be there for each other each step of the way 

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